The Anger of the Rejected Client: When Rejection Becomes the Enemy of Your Love Story

Dear Friend,

Today, I want to address a topic that is very close to my heart — and one that concerns both men and women who register with a matchmaking agency like CQMI. It's a sensitive subject that very few agencies dare to discuss publicly. But you know me by now: I'd rather tell it like it is, even if it stings, than sell you a dream wrapped in shiny paper.

I want to talk to you about the anger of the rejected client. That deep, sometimes violent anger that erupts when the romantic dream crashes into the wall of reality. And more importantly — because this is where it gets interesting — the direction that anger takes.

  It All Starts With a Profile That Takes Your Breath Away

Let me describe a scenario I see play out every single week, year after year. A man — let's call him Philip — browses our website and stumbles upon the profile of Irina, 42, from Zaporizhzhia. Her blue eyes, her warm smile, her description that speaks of family, values, sincerity. Philip can't sleep anymore. He has found the woman. He is absolutely convinced. This virtual love-at-first-sight is so powerful that it pushes him to take the plunge and register. You can browse the profiles of our female members to understand what I'm talking about.

You need to understand that in the vast majority of cases, a man registers with our agency because he has seen a specific profile that struck him so deeply he's ready to pull out his credit card. It's not the abstract idea of meeting a Ukrainian woman that motivates him. No. It's her. That face, that description, that concrete hope.

For the women, it's different. The service is free for them and men's profiles are not publicly visible on the internet. They only discover male profiles after registering. But the principle remains the same: a woman who has just signed up can literally fall under the spell of a man's profile on the site. I've had Ukrainian women tell me with stars in their eyes: "Antoine, that one — he's the one, I can feel it." Instinct knows no borders.

  The Correspondence Begins — and Hope Runs Wild

Let's return to Philip. He builds his profile, carefully selects his photos — hopefully he's read our tips for writing to a Ukrainian woman — and he immediately reaches out to the woman who makes his heart race. Fortunately for him, in many cases, the woman agrees to exchange messages with the man who is already sold on her.

I must admit that the male instinct has a real knack for sensing his dream woman. And the correspondence begins. The first messages are intoxicating. She responds enthusiastically. He tells himself: "See, I knew it." He's on cloud nine.

Even though, in principle, he should be communicating with other women — as I systematically recommend in the CQMI blog — Philip has eyes only for Irina. The other profiles? He glances at them out of politeness toward our advice, but his heart is already taken.

I remember a Canadian client, Terry, who told me on the phone: "Antoine, don't waste your time showing me other women. I've found the right one." This was after three messages. Three messages. Love is blind, as they say. In the context of an international matchmaking agency, it sometimes makes you completely deaf to your coach's advice.

  The Cultural Misstep — and the Silence That Follows

The agency's role is to provide a healthy and controlled environment to make sure everything goes well. We don't operate the dishonest PPL system — the Pay-Per-Letter scam that is the cancer of our industry. Boryslava and I give as much advice as we possibly can to help the dream become reality.

But unfortunately, it doesn't always work out. In many cases, a single cultural misstep is enough for the communication to end abruptly. A wrong word. A joke that doesn't cross the cultural barrier. A question that's too personal, asked too soon. A beach holiday photo sent at the wrong time. The reasons are countless and I've catalogued them in our article on the mistakes to avoid when dating a Russian woman.

When it's the man who decides to end things, he disappears. Plain and simple. It's men's preferred behaviour when they decide to end an exchange — the infamous ghosting. Not a word of explanation, not a goodbye. Radio silence. And on the other side, a Ukrainian woman staring at a mute screen, not understanding what happened.

  Romantic Grief — a Process No One Teaches You

When a man or woman realises that the person they dreamed of will remain just a passing dream, the pain is immense. And this is true at every age. No one teaches you how to suffer with your heart. I've seen 60-year-old men — rock-solid in their professional lives — break down in tears on the phone because a woman from Kharkiv stopped answering their messages.

Then comes a grieving period that varies from person to person. Psychologists describe it in several well-known stages:

During these stages, a period of anger systematically occurs — for both women and men. It's unavoidable. It's human. And this is where things become problematic.

The question is: where can the man direct his anger and negative feelings resulting from this failure?

  Rejection — the Key Word of This Article

The woman has vanished. She decided to cut ties. She delivered her verdict: not interested. Sometimes without a single word of explanation. Sometimes with a brief sentence translated by Google that simply reads: "Sorry, I didn't feel a connection."

Rejection. That's the key word of this article. How do you anticipate the harmful consequences of rejection? Rejection is a terrible feeling when you're single. It sends you back to your worst insecurities. It reopens old wounds — the divorce, the years of loneliness, the failures on Western dating sites.

I remember Marc, a 54-year-old engineer from Lyon who had joined our agency from France. His correspondence with Natalia from Vinnytsia had been going on for two months. Daily messages, video calls on Sunday evenings, plans to travel to Ukraine. And then one Tuesday morning — nothing. Complete silence. Marc called me, his voice trembling: "Antoine, what did I do wrong?" The truth? Probably nothing major. But one small detail — perhaps a remark about how she should learn French before coming to France, stated with typical male bluntness — had been enough to break something in Natalia's trust.

In some cases, the man even manages to lash out directly at the woman who rejected him. Insistent messages, sometimes aggressive ones. Demands for explanation that feel more like an interrogation than a conversation. This behaviour, aside from being counterproductive, confirms to the woman that she was right to end the exchange.

  The Agency — the Perfect Scapegoat

But here's the thing. In the case of a matchmaking agency, there is a perfect scapegoat: the agency and its representatives. It's as simple as that. If my dream didn't come true, it's Antoine's fault, or Boryslava's. They take our money and don't do their job properly. After all, I paid for this service, and the least they could do is deliver results that match my expectations.

I hear this regularly. Just last week, a client sent me an incendiary message after his favourite correspondent ended their exchanges. I quote from memory: "Your agency is a scam — you sold me a dream with women who aren't serious." The man in question had refused to follow my advice for two months. He had communicated with only one woman — when I always recommend writing to several. He had sent his first message in French with no translation. And he had been impatient, asking Svetlana to come to his country... after three weeks of correspondence.

But in his anger phase, all of that disappears. All that remains is a sense of injustice and an irresistible need to find someone to blame. And guess who's the easiest target? Not the woman — she's far away, unreachable, in another country. No. It's the agency. It's Antoine. It's Boryslava. They're the ones who took my money and didn't deliver the goods.

I described this phenomenon in an article about the different profiles of men who sign up with CQMI: the "Narcissus" type, whose main problem is refusing to take responsibility for his own mistakes and failures, turning the matchmaking agency or the women he meets into "problems" when a few simple adjustments could have worked wonders.

  Turning Failure Into a Stepping Stone

Now that I've laid out the diagnosis — bluntly, as you'd expect — let me give you the prescription.

Rejection is part of the process. I repeat this in every article I write on this blog, in every Sunday YouTube Live: the search for a Ukrainian or Russian wife is not a sprint. It's a marathon. And in a marathon, there are tough kilometres, walls to push through, moments when you want to quit.

Here is what the men who succeed do differently from the rest:

First, they communicate with several women simultaneously. Not out of a lack of seriousness — quite the opposite — but because it's the best way to avoid putting all your emotional eggs in one basket. Let me be clear: the women in our agency are not looking for a one-night stand. They are looking for marriage and a lifelong union. If you're not serious, don't bother. But being serious doesn't mean being obsessive about a single profile.

Second, they listen to their coach's advice. Boryslava and I have years of experience understanding intercultural dynamics between Western men and Slavic women. When I tell you not to ask a certain question during the first video call, it's not to annoy you — it's because I've watched dozens of correspondences blow up for that exact reason.

Third, they turn every setback into a lesson. A rejection is not an ending. It's information. What didn't work? What can I improve in my next correspondence? It's this attitude of self-reflection that separates the men who eventually find happiness from those who stay trapped in bitterness.

Our matchmaking agency has a proven formula: a subscription at $350 CAD for 1 month that gets you 10 contacts with women who are genuinely interested in building a serious relationship. No ghost profiles. No Pay-Per-Letter. Ten women who have agreed, with full knowledge, to exchange with you. That's our secret sauce. Discover our full process on this page.

  In Conclusion — a Message of Hope

If you're reading these lines and recognise yourself in Philip's or Marc's story, know that I'm not judging you. Anger is human. Rejection is painful. But directing that anger at the agency that's trying to help you — at the people who spend hours coaching you, translating your messages, understanding the psychology of your correspondents — is like shooting the paramedic who's coming to save you.

The Ukrainian and Russian women in our agency are real women, with real feelings, real fears, and real hopes. They too experience rejection. They too cry when a man they liked disappears without explanation. They are not products you return to the store with a receipt.

My wife Boryslava and I are here to support you — with honesty, with frankness, and sometimes with truths that sting. That's what makes our approach impossible to copy. We'd rather lose a client than lie to him.

And if after reading this article you think to yourself: "Alright, Antoine is right — I need to change my approach" — then this article will have served its purpose. Take the first step. Start with our compatibility quiz to assess your readiness. And if you have any questions, don't hesitate to write to me: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

Have a wonderful and healthy weekend!

Antoine Monnier, Founder of CQMI Matchmaking Agency