5 fears that stop men from having children

Sometimes we receive requests from single men who neither have children nor want to have them. This reluctance is one of the last major taboos in Western societies: refusing fatherhood. Recent surveys show that a growing number of men in Canada and the United States delay or reject the idea of having children, often to preserve personal freedom, emotional stability, or financial security. Some eventually change their decision, not out of desire, but because of social or family pressure. We tried to better understand the deeper reasons behind this hesitation, particularly among Quebec men.

Here are five fears that most often explain why men say no to the role of father, and how CQMI helps address them, by promoting the benefits of a stable long-term relationship with a Slavic woman .

1. Discomfort with duties and responsibilities

Many men fear that having children will permanently remove spontaneity and flexibility from their lives. They associate fatherhood with constant obligations, pressure, and loss of personal space.

All CQMI candidates are Slavic women currently living in Eastern Europe who are financially autonomous and educated. They actively invest in their professional lives, but family remains a central priority. For Slavic women, childbirth is a serious and deliberate decision. They take an active role in their children’s education and daily structure, which reduces the emotional overload often feared by men.

2. Fear of being a bad father

Many men worry they will not live up to expectations. They fear repeating mistakes from their own childhood or failing emotionally as fathers. This fear is often amplified by the absence of clear male role models in modern Western society.

Healthy family relationships depend on balance between both parents. To support a positive father-child relationship, the mother must be emotionally mature and capable of maintaining harmony within the couple. This includes preserving the relationship as partners, not only as parents. This psychological maturity is a common trait among Slavic women registered in the CQMI profile database.

3. Career comes first

Many men postpone fatherhood because they feel pressure to first secure financial stability and professional success. They fear that children will slow down or jeopardize their career trajectory.

Despite social changes over the past decades, women in Eastern Europe often maintain a pragmatic view of gender roles. Men are encouraged to focus on professional responsibilities, while women are willing to assume a greater share of family organization. This dynamic allows men to pursue career goals without feeling overwhelmed by family logistics.

4. Children are expensive

Financial anxiety is one of the strongest deterrents to fatherhood. Housing, education, healthcare, and daily expenses make many men question their ability to provide.

All CQMI candidates are financially autonomous and hold degrees, which facilitates their integration into the Canadian or American labor market. Beyond financial calculations, research shows that fatherhood often has positive economic effects. According to a study by sociologist Michelle Budig from the University of Massachusetts Amherst, American fathers receive on average a 6% wage increase in the year their first child is born. This reflects how society often perceives fathers as more stable and responsible.

5. Fear of losing freedom

The idea of losing freedom is perhaps the most emotionally charged fear. Men worry that hobbies, travel, friendships, and personal time will disappear.

In families with traditional values, women from Eastern Europe often assume a larger share of childcare and daily routines. Studies show that Slavic mothers spend significantly more time with children than fathers. This structure allows men to preserve personal space while still being actively involved as fathers.

After analyzing these fears, one conclusion becomes clear: a man’s desire or reluctance to become a father depends largely on the relationship he has with his partner. With a supportive, emotionally stable woman who shares responsibility and values family life, fatherhood becomes a source of fulfillment rather than anxiety.

Sign up today on CQMI and we will contact you to arrange your first free meeting.

Thanks to CQMI, your woman from Eastern Europe has never been closer.