Agreeing to Communicate with a Ukrainian Woman Is Not a Marriage Proposal

Dear Friend,

This week, I want to talk to you about a phenomenon I observe constantly since the very beginnings of the CQMI Agency — one that, I must confess, concerns me as much as it frustrates me. I regularly receive messages from clients who have just received the contact details of a Ukrainian woman and who tell me, their voice trembling with emotion: "Antoine, she's the one, I'm sure of it. She agreed to communicate with me — it's a sign that she's the right woman!"

Stop. Hold on. Take a deep breath.

If a Ukrainian woman agrees to communicate with you, it means exactly what it says: she agrees to communicate. Full stop. It is not a declaration of love. It is not a promise for the future. And above all — above all — it is not a marriage proposal. It is simply a woman who finds you interesting on paper and wants to learn a little more about you. Nothing more, nothing less.

Remember the Shoe Metaphor

A few weeks ago, I published an article that generated a lot of reactions: Gentlemen, Stop Choosing Your Wife Like You Buy Your Shoes! If you haven't read it yet, I strongly encourage you to do so — it's a foundational article for understanding what I'm about to discuss today.

The observation is simple and it's brutal: when a man walks into a shoe store, he looks around, tries on the first pair he likes, and walks out five minutes later with his shoes under his arm. Mission accomplished. The problem is that he applies exactly the same method when choosing a wife. He sees a profile he likes, gets a positive response, and in his mind, it's already a done deal.

A woman, on the other hand, operates completely differently. She'll try on 10, 20, sometimes 36 pairs of shoes. She'll compare colours, materials, heel heights. She'll come back the next day to make sure. She'll ask her best friend's opinion. This process — this patience, this meticulousness — is exactly what you should be doing when looking for a life partner.

I remember a client from Toronto — let's call him David — who contacted me after just one week with the agency. Only one woman had agreed to communicate with him, Natalia from Kharkiv. After three messages exchanged, he was already telling me: "I think she's the one. I'm going to book a plane ticket." Three messages, gentlemen. Three messages and he was ready to cross the Atlantic. When I suggested he take his time and communicate with other women as well, he looked at me as if I were crazy: "But why? Natalia responded to me!"

That is exactly the trap I don't want you to fall into.

The Learning Period: Your Best Investment

At CQMI, our subscription formula gives you access to 10 contacts with women who are genuinely interested in building a serious relationship. Ten. Not one. And it's no coincidence that we designed things this way.

We systematically recommend that our male clients make multiple choices in order to learn how to communicate, to discover Ukrainian women's culture, to build connections, and — this is critical — to make comparisons while avoiding the trap of confirmation bias. You know, that cognitive bias that makes you see confirmations everywhere once you've made a decision. The halo effect works the same way: a pretty photo and suddenly, everything she says seems perfect to you.

This learning period is, in my eyes, absolutely essential for the success of your final goal. I say it and I repeat it endlessly: experience is a critical parameter. You don't become good by chance — you become good through experience. Just like the woman who tries on 36 pairs of shoes to make sure she picks the right pair, a man must also run tests, accept mistakes, until the moment he finally meets the one who truly suits him.

I am not one of those who believe in love at first sight, with Tinker Bell and her magic wand. After more than ten years of marriage with Boryslava and years of watching hundreds of couples form — or fail — in our agency, I can tell you that the stories that last are those that took the time to build themselves.

Why This Communication Period Is So Important

Because this is the time for you to learn how to build exchanges with women from another culture. And believe me, the cultural distance between an American from Ohio, a Canadian from Vancouver, a Brit from Manchester, or an Australian from Melbourne, and a woman from Dnipro or Mykolaiv is far greater than you might imagine. I recommend reading our article on 6 mistakes to avoid when dating a Russian woman to get an idea of the cultural gap.

Many Ukrainian women believe — and I completely agree with them — that love begins with a solid friendship. The more you communicate with different people, the more you learn about their culture, about Slavic female psychology, about what suits you and what doesn't. It's a process of mutual discovery, not a race against time.

One of my Canadian clients — a wonderful man I'll call Mark — communicated for four months with five different women before feeling a particular connection with one of them. During those four months, he learned things that no article, no YouTube video, no piece of advice could have taught him. He understood that Ukrainian women don't respond to compliments the same way North American women do. He learned that frankness, in the Slavic world, is perceived very differently. He discovered that what seemed like coldness to him was actually modesty. And when he finally met Viktoria in person, he was ready. Not because he had read a guide, but because he had lived the experience.

Come Play Hopscotch in the Schoolyard

If you've followed me this far, you now understand that when you accept a Ukrainian woman's request — or she accepts yours — you are not accepting a marriage proposal. You are agreeing to have an exchange, more or less long, with a woman from another culture. It doesn't go any further than that. Like children in a playground who play together.

I love this image. And I love even more the attitude of certain men who arrive in the CQMI process with a certain lightheartedness — the good kind, the healthy kind — telling me that they're here "without any particular expectations, to learn, and perhaps, if the stars align, to find love."

This attitude is particularly fruitful in our agency. The men who tell me this are often the ones who succeed. Why? Because they put no pressure on the women. They're here to learn to play — in the best sense of the word — like children in a schoolyard. And Ukrainian women love this attitude. They see it as proof of maturity in a man who isn't going to throw himself at the first woman who crosses his path.

This is exactly how you should see our subscription formula. When a woman's contact details appear in your dashboard, it is not a marriage proposal. It is simply and solely a woman who wants to play with you. Exactly like two children in a schoolyard — a boy and a girl playing hopscotch together.

The CQMI Subscription: Your Playground

So take the pressure down a notch. Our subscription at $350 CAD for one month should be described as follows:

Come play hopscotch in the schoolyard with the women on our site. No expectations, no pressure — just to enjoy yourself and have a good time together. Learn, discover, exchange. And if a beautiful friendship turns into a real love story — well, that's life doing what it does best.

With 10 contacts with serious, motivated women verified by our team, you have a real training ground in your hands. Every exchange makes you better. Every conversation teaches you something. Every woman you connect with — even if she's not "the one" — brings you closer to the one who will be.

But please, don't rush things. Take the time to do things slowly and calmly. In life, it often happens that a beautiful friendship transforms into a genuine love story. But it never happens when you force it.

Conclusion: Learn to Play Before Trying to Win

If I had to sum up this entire article in one sentence, it would be this: learn to play hopscotch first — marriage will come later.

The men who succeed in our agency are not the most handsome, nor the wealthiest, nor the youngest. They are the ones who understood that the search for a Ukrainian woman is a process — a path of learning, of discovery, sometimes of failure — and that every step of this journey has its value. They are the ones who arrive with sincere curiosity, genuine open-mindedness, and that magnificent lightheartedness of a man who knows he's here to learn to play.

So, are you ready to come play hopscotch with us?

Questions? Write to me directly: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

I wish you an excellent weekend in good health!

Antoine Monnier
Founder of the CQMI Agency
Married to Boryslava, a Ukrainian woman