Dating Competition: Why Targeting a Ukrainian Woman Already Living in Your Country Is a Strategic Mistake

Gentlemen, I need to tell you about something that happens in my office every single week — and that frustrates me every time. It's the story of a smart, motivated, sincere man… who makes one fundamental strategic mistake. A mistake I've seen made dozens of times, and whose outcome is always the same.

This topic — competition in the dating world — is something I already explored from a different angle in a previous article: "Should You Meet a Ukrainian Woman Living in Canada… or One Still in Ukraine?". I explained why targeting a Ukrainian woman already settled in the West was a risky choice compared to a woman who remained in her home country. I also discussed it in detail during our Live 242 on YouTube. But today, I want to take it further and explain this mechanism through a metaphor every man can relate to: fishing.

The Script That Repeats Every Week

This February 2026, most new sign-ups at the CQMI agency are from men in various Western countries who choose our single contact option. Their profile is always the same: they've spotted a Ukrainian woman on our site who already lives in their country, not too far from home, who speaks the local language and already has a job and immigration papers. The perfect solution — or so they think.

Let me give you the script — almost word for word — of our exchanges:

Him: "Antoine, I want to sign up for the single contact option. I found Lyudmila — she lives two hours from me, she's a perfect match."

Me: "There's no guarantee that Lyudmila will accept your contact request. A Ukrainian woman settled in a Western country has a mountain of options at her disposal. It's risky. I'd recommend our subscription plan, which lets you compare and multiply your chances. It's our winning formula."

Him: "Antoine, I see what you're doing. You're trying to sell me 10 contacts with your subscription. I want one woman, and I've already found her on your site. Just send me the invoice for one contact and let's move forward…"

And then — silence. Impossible to change this man's mind. He'll have to learn by making his own mistakes. And believe me — the lesson is a painful one.

When Reality Catches Up with the Illusion

What happens next is predictable. The man signs up, creates his profile, sends his request to Lyudmila. Good news: she accepts. Bad news: she responds in a superficial, almost mechanical way. Her messages are short, spaced out, lacking any real warmth. She doesn't seem particularly motivated.

Our client starts to doubt, but he's trapped. He's invested his entire budget, all his emotional energy, into one single woman. No plan B, no alternative. He's locked himself into a dead-end single choice.

I've watched this scenario unfold hundreds of times over fifteen years of coaching. The man who puts all his eggs in one basket always ends up picking up the shells.

What's Happening Behind the Curtain

Now, put yourself in Lyudmila's shoes for a moment. This woman completed her immigration process on her own. She got her papers, found a job, learned the language — all through sheer determination. And suddenly, she finds herself at the centre of male attention in a Western country that's overflowing with single men looking for love.

I broke down this reality in my article "Why You're Struggling on Tinder: The Truth About Male Competition in the West". The numbers are relentless: in Western countries, competition among men to win over an attractive woman is fierce. And when that woman is Ukrainian — beautiful, feminine, educated, with strong family values — the competition skyrockets.

Lyudmila is not short of suitors. She's being approached on dating apps, at work, on the street, on social media. Your single contact, no matter how sincere, is just another message in an already overflowing inbox.

The Fisherman's Metaphor

Let me paint you a picture that's worth a thousand words.

By pursuing a single Ukrainian woman already settled in your country, you're choosing Scenario A — the overfished pond. You're in direct competition with dozens of local men, often younger, sometimes wealthier, and who have the advantage of daily geographical proximity.

Conversely, when you go looking for your future wife directly at the source — in Ukraine, in Russia, in Eastern Europe — you experience the opposite situation. There is an abundance of beautiful, serious single women ready to build a family life, and who don't have ten suitors at their doorstep every morning.

Lyudmila's Intoxication

And there's a phenomenon that very few men understand. Ukrainian single women who arrive in the West experience exactly the same exhilarating effect as the Western man who lands in Kyiv or Odessa for the first time: the shock of abundance.

When a North American or European man arrives in Ukraine, he's dazzled by the sheer number of stunning women he sees walking down the street. Well, Lyudmila is living the reverse phenomenon: she's intoxicated by the number of men who are interested in her, courting her, sending her messages. After years in a country where quality available men were scarce, she suddenly discovers that she's the centre of all male desire.

Do you seriously think that in this situation, she's going to jump at the first single contact that comes along? She wants to savour this new sensation. She wants to take her time. She wants to compare.

And that's perfectly human.

An Important Clarification

Let me be very clear on one point: the Ukrainian and Russian women we work with at CQMI are not looking for a one-night stand. They are not women who want a fling. They are looking for marriage, a lifelong union, a serious man with whom to build a family. This is precisely why they go through a serious matchmaking agency rather than an online dating site. If you are not serious about your intentions — please look elsewhere.

But let's be realistic: even a woman who is looking for a serious relationship will want to choose the best possible partner. And when she has twenty candidates to pick from in her host country, why would she settle for the first one who comes along?

The Conclusion Is Always the Same

Coming back to our client from the beginning of this story — the one who absolutely wanted his single contact with Lyudmila — he will quickly reach the same conclusion I did. The competition in his own country sends him right back to square one. Lyudmila will eventually ghost his messages, or politely tell him she's met someone else. And he'll have lost time, money, and self-confidence.

The lesson? It's unchanging, and I've been repeating it for fifteen years: if you want to meet a Ukrainian woman, your best option is to go find her directly at the source. Not in the overfished pond in your neighbourhood, but in the vast lakes of Eastern Europe where thousands of wonderful women are waiting for a serious Western man.

This is the entire philosophy behind our agency. I myself met my wife Boryslava in Ukraine — not in a Parisian bar, not on a dating app. It was by going there in person, by making the effort to travel and discover, that I found the woman who has been sharing my life for years.

Browse our member profiles to discover the Ukrainian and Russian women who are looking for a serious man. And if you have any questions, write to me directly: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

Don't make the lone fisherman's mistake on an empty pond. Grab your fishing rod and go where the fish are plentiful.

Antoine Monnier, Founder of the CQMI Agency