I've been wanting to tell you about this strange phenomenon for some time now.
For the last 6 years we have been observing couples make and break up in our marriage agency's laboratory, and in the long run we discover fascinating things.
Human psychology is very deep.
Today I'd like to dissect a corollary effect of the famous toy shop syndrome that I've already told you about frequently.
Remember, this is the state of euphoria and loss of control that men experience when they arrive in Ukraine, bewildered by the abundance of beautiful single women.
A bit like a 5 year old child who goes into a toy shop for the first time and comes out in tears.
Overwhelmed by his emotions...
Don't laugh, it happens even to perfectly balanced men with a long experience.
Remember Odysseus who tied himself to the mast of his ship so as not to succumb to the songs of the sirens.
It is the same principle.
Now that you have remembered this concept, let's see how the abundance of available, single, beautiful women can lead you paradoxically to loneliness.
Let's look at a real case:
Jean-Pascal arrives in Ukraine on a group trip with the CQMI agency and makes his 8 arranged meetings with an assistant.
As JP is quite instinctive, he quickly concluded that his favourite is Anna, with whom all indicators are green.
They get on wonderfully.
In the restaurant he noticed how much Anna cares about his well-being. She is genuinely interested in him and for good reason.
He has finally found a woman who really likes him and respects him for who he is.
What a feeling and what happiness to experience!
In addition, the atmosphere in the group is great.
He really made a good decision to come to Kiev with CQMI.
In the end, out of 8 meetings with women, each one more beautiful than the other, JP was flattered to learn from his assistant that all of them, absolutely all of them, would have liked to see him again for a second meeting.
When you think that at home in France, after having spent more than 5 years on free dating sites, he never managed to meet a woman he liked.
And here in Ukraine in Kiev, in less than 4 days, he met 8 women with whom he could have gone a long way.
This leaves him wondering...
In the space of a few days, JP feels something happening inside him, in his gut.
"I'm not so bad after all..."
"Women like me...anyway"
JP is smiling more, he gives advice to other participants in the group who are having difficulties.
He feels good, literally reborn.
JP is a new man!
After a week in Kiev, with Anna, they visited some parks, museums, restaurants.
They also took a guided tour of Kiev with Nadia.
Anna became very attached to JP, who behaves like a real gentleman.
For her too, it is a new feeling to spend time with a good man who treats her with respect.
She doesn't ask for more, after spending ten years with a violent and alcoholic man.
In short, for the moment everything is fine.
It's the big picture...for our two lovebirds.
Time passes and the two lovers decide to meet again in France at JP's place.
Their relationship should logically move to a new stage.
After all, JP has registered with a marriage agency for a life together and for marriage.
JP has bought Anna's tickets and is waiting for her.
He remembers Kiev and his trip with great fervour, as the beginning of a new start in his life as a man.
He remembers how Ukrainian women looked at him, at his modest self.
Here in France, he is a complete stranger in his city.
To French women, it is as if he is invisible or even transparent.
His opinion of himself has changed since he discovered Ukraine and entered the toy shop.
When Anna arrives in France, she is tired from the journey, after a gruelling bus ride from her home to Kiev.
She is broken with fatigue.
JP is surprised to see that she is no longer as beautiful as he had imagined her to be in his memories of Kiev.
She has changed.
Or has he changed?
Now that he knows how to be a desirable man in Ukraine, his standards for a woman are not the same.
After all, he has a lot to offer.
His retirement allows him to live comfortably in the south of France, not far from the Mediterranean Sea.
His house is not luxurious, but comfortable.
He deserves a beautiful Ukrainian wife.
She must be perfect!
In the end, Anna's trip to France was not really a success.
They separated for good shortly after Anna's return to Ukraine.
Neither he nor she really understood what had happened in France.
There were some misunderstandings about cultural differences, but nothing too serious.
Anna found him changed...
"He wasn't the same...He had changed"
JP found her changed...
"She was less beautiful, less attractive, more demanding, less this, more that..."
The fires of love gave way to the daily ups and downs of living together with a woman who doesn't speak his language in a country that isn't his own...
JP is tired of his toy.
He wants another one :-)
The toy shop is only 3 hours away by plane, it's not so far after all.
This story happened 5 years ago.
Since then, JP is still single.
Every year, in summer, he takes a trip to Ukraine.
He goes to meet people in Kiev, Odessa, Kherson or even Kharkov, depending on what he wants to do.
He has tried different dating agencies and dating sites in Ukraine but it always gives the same result.
A great start that ends up in disaster after a few months of relationship.
A flash in the pan that quickly fades away.
It's the desert crossing syndrome which is a corollary of the toy shop syndrome.
Does this story speak to you?
If so, I would love to share your respective comments with everyone.
I wish you a healthy weekend!
*** Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)