Why There Is a Real Shortage of Men in Ukraine and Russia Since the War

A divorced 49-year-old engineer from Edinburgh once wrote me a line that sums up dozens of conversations we have had at the agency over the past three years: "Antoine, it feels like I'd be taking advantage of a tragedy. Is it even right to be looking for a Ukrainian woman right now?"

It's a fair question, and it deserves a real answer, not a marketing slogan. After years in the agency business, matching Western men with Ukrainian women looking for a serious relationship, we can tell you plainly: the demographic reality the war has created in Ukraine, and to a lesser extent in Russia, is as brutal as it is rarely discussed openly. And it genuinely changes how a serious Western man should approach his search.

Short answer: since February 2022, mobilization, military losses and the mass departure of working-age men have created one of the sharpest male-female demographic imbalances in Europe. At CQMI, the number of marriages we registered rose from an average of 16-18 per year before the war to 26-28 during its first year. That is not opportunism. It is the direct consequence of a genuine shortage of available men on the ground.

A demographic imbalance the numbers confirm

Even before 2022, Ukraine already had one of the lowest fertility rates in Europe, around 1.2 children per woman. The war added a further drain on top of that fragility: hundreds of thousands of men mobilized, some killed or wounded in combat, and a significant number of marriage-age men who left the country before the border closed to men aged 18 to 60. Russia's situation has different causes but a comparable effect: partial mobilization, an exodus of qualified young men to Georgia, Kazakhstan or Armenia, and an already structurally high male mortality rate before the conflict even began.

On the ground, the outcome is the same in both countries: noticeably fewer men available for a life partnership, and women who, often for the first time in their adult lives, are seriously considering a relationship with a foreigner, not out of any taste for the exotic, but because the local pool has genuinely shrunk.

What we actually see at the agency

We often imagine, sitting in Toronto or London, that this situation "easily" benefits Western men. That picture is incomplete. By our experience, Ukrainian women registered with CQMI are not easier to convince than before, quite the opposite: they are more demanding about how serious your project actually is, because relocating abroad today is an even heavier decision, often involving a mother, a child, sometimes a pet that has to leave the country too.

The real change, then, is not "easier" but faster. Correspondence that used to take four to six months before a first meeting now often takes two. Women know exactly what they want, and they no longer have the luxury of stretching out months of writing with a man who cannot make up his mind.

Travel to Ukraine is not the norm right now, and it matters that we say so

We would rather tell you here than have you find out later: because of the war, CQMI currently organizes no group travel to Kyiv. All of our services run online, securely and with our team's support. Many of our female members now live outside Ukraine, in Poland, Germany or elsewhere in Europe, and first in-person meetings often take place in a third country rather than in Kyiv. In-person services will resume gradually, and only once conditions genuinely allow it.

Why this is not opportunism, but plain common sense

Back to my client from Edinburgh. No, looking for a serious Russian or Ukrainian woman today is not opportunistic, on one condition: that your intention is marriage and a life together, not a fling with no future. We have always said this at CQMI and we will keep saying it: these women are not looking for a one night stand, they are looking for a home. If you are not serious, this is not for you, for her sake as much as yours.

The shortage of men does not create an easy shortcut to romance. It creates a window in which serious, courageous, realistic women are finally willing to look beyond their own borders, something many of them might never have done in peacetime. That distinction matters, and it changes everything about how the relationship should be approached.

What the war has also revealed of the best in people

Over the past three years we have watched men from our own agency offer financial help or a place to stay to women they had never met, expecting nothing in return. One of our members hosted a mother and daughter for several months, simply because he could, with no romantic relationship ever involved. That kind of story never makes headlines, but it says a great deal about the human reality behind the statistics.

The most common mistakes Western men make in this context

• Believing urgency justifies skipping steps — the context speeds up decisions, it never excuses skipping verification, video calls, regular contact and an in-person meeting before any commitment.
• Confusing vulnerability with ease — a woman in a difficult situation is not a woman who will accept anything. Often it's the opposite: she has less patience for a man who hesitates.
• Ignoring the risk of scams — the war has unfortunately also opened the door to dishonest profiles that play on emotion. This is exactly why a serious agency verifies identity, marital status and motivations before any introduction is made.
• Casting yourself as a rescuer — a solid relationship is built between equals, not on an imbalance where one person "saves" the other.

How to approach a relationship in this context, calmly

1. Clarify your own intentions first: marriage and family life, or simple curiosity? Be honest with yourself before you are honest with her.
2. Choose an agency that genuinely verifies members' identity and motivations, rather than an anonymous site where nobody ever speaks to the person behind the photos.
3. Accept that early exchanges now often happen by video call, and that the first in-person meeting may take place somewhere other than Ukraine.
4. Move at a respectful but genuine pace: neither rushing nor stalling for months.
5. Be upfront about your financial situation and expectations from the start, to avoid misunderstandings later.

What to remember: the shortage of men in Ukraine and Russia is a documented demographic fact, not a marketing pitch. It explains why more and more serious Slavic women are now open to marrying a Western man, provided he arrives with a clear life plan.

Two real stories

James, 51, Toronto. He had been corresponding for six weeks with a member still living in Kharkiv when she told him she sometimes had to switch her phone off during power cuts. He simply adjusted his call schedule to her reality, without ever complaining. They married eighteen months later, in Poland.

Robert, 56, Edinburgh. Convinced the situation gave him an edge, he wrote to five members at once, thinking he was maximizing his chances. None of the five kept the conversation going past two weeks. A CQMI consultant told him, half-joking, that he was treating the war like a clearance sale. He narrowed his focus to a single serious correspondence, and it made all the difference.

Before the war and since: what has changed

Aspect	Before 2022	Since the war
Marriages registered per year at CQMI	16 to 18	26 to 28 (first year), slightly lower now but still elevated
Average time before a first meeting	4 to 6 months of correspondence	1 to 2 months of correspondence
Where the first meeting happens	Usually in Ukraine	Often in a third country, online first
Profile of registered women	Searching by personal choice	Search accelerated by a real shortage of men

Frequently Asked Questions

Is the shortage of men in Ukraine actually measurable?
Yes. Mobilization, military losses and male emigration, combined with a birth rate that was already low before 2022, produce a documented male-female demographic imbalance visible in our own marriage statistics.

Is it morally acceptable to look for a Ukrainian woman in this context?
Yes, provided your approach is serious and respectful, aimed at genuine marriage, not at exploiting a situation of vulnerability.

Can you still travel to Ukraine to meet a member?
No, at present CQMI no longer organizes group travel to Kyiv. Meetings are prepared online and often take place in a third country.

Does this also affect Russian women?
To a lesser extent and for different reasons, yes: partial mobilization and the departure of many marriage-age Russian men have had a comparable demographic effect.

How can you tell if a member is sincere given this context?
That is exactly the role of a serious agency: verifying marital status, criminal record and motivations for every woman before any introduction, rather than leaving you alone with an anonymous profile.

Conclusion

The shortage of men in Ukraine and Russia is neither a myth nor a sales pitch. It is a heavy demographic reality born of a tragedy nobody wanted. This context opens a window for serious Western men who are ready to commit to a genuine marriage and family life with a Ukrainian or Russian woman. At the international matchmaking agency CQMI, we have been guiding this kind of meeting seriously for more than ten years, verifying every profile and helping you avoid the pitfalls of searching alone.

If your intentions are genuine, our monthly subscription at 250 EUR gives you access to 10 verified contacts with women genuinely interested in a lasting relationship. Questions? Write to us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

See the verified profiles of our Ukrainian and Russian members →

", "areaServed": ["CA", "GB", "AU", "US"], "priceRange": "$$", "founder": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Antoine Monnier" }, "employee": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Antoine Monnier" } }, { "@type": "Article", "@id": "https://www.cqmi.ca/en/russian-dating-news-cqmi/item/2082-why-there-is-a-real-shortage-of-men-in-ukraine-and-russia-since-the-war#article", "headline": "Why There Is a Real Shortage of Men in Ukraine and Russia Since the War", "description": "War, mobilization, exile: there is now a real shortage of men in Ukraine and Russia. What this actually means for a serious Western man looking for a Slavic wife.", "author": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Antoine Monnier" }, "publisher": { "@id": "https://www.cqmi.ca/en/russian-dating-news-cqmi/item/2082-why-there-is-a-real-shortage-of-men-in-ukraine-and-russia-since-the-war#organization" }, "inLanguage": "en" }, { "@type": "FAQPage", "mainEntity": [ { "@type": "Question", "name": "Is the shortage of men in Ukraine actually measurable?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Yes. Mobilization, military losses and male emigration, combined with a birth rate that was already low before 2022, produce a documented male-female demographic imbalance visible in the agency's own marriage statistics." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Is it morally acceptable to look for a Ukrainian woman in this context?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Yes, provided the approach is serious and respectful, aimed at genuine marriage, not at exploiting a situation of vulnerability." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Can you still travel to Ukraine to meet a member?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "No, at present CQMI no longer organizes group travel to Kyiv. Meetings are prepared online and often take place in a third country." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Does this also affect Russian women?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "To a lesser extent and for different reasons, yes: partial mobilization and the departure of many marriage-age Russian men have had a comparable demographic effect." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "How can you tell if a member is sincere given this context?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "That is the role of a serious agency: verifying marital status, criminal record and motivations for every woman before any introduction, rather than leaving the man alone with an anonymous profile." } } ] } ] }