This week, I received a long message from a Canadian man who has been observing our services for some time. A well-spoken, articulate gentleman who clearly knows what he wants — or at least thinks he does. And in that message, he told me something that made me jump out of my chair: he considers communicating with 10 women in one month to be "cramming conversations."

I read that sentence three times. Then I closed the screen, went to make myself a coffee, and thought about all the men — hundreds of them — that I've coached over the past fifteen years through the journey of international dating. And I thought: this man sums up, in a single phrase, the reason so many Western men fail. Not because they lack the means. Not because Ukrainian women are out of reach. But because they fundamentally misunderstand what they're getting into.

So today, I'm going to take the time to respond. Not just to this man. To all of you who hesitate, who doubt our formula, and who believe there is a shortcut to finding love with a Slavic woman.

  A word from Antoine: The women registered with our agency are not looking for a one-night stand. They are looking for marriage — a lifelong union. If you are not serious about your intentions, please do not waste their time or yours. What you are about to read does not concern you.

  "Cramming Conversations" — When Contempt Hides Behind Words

Let's take a closer look at that phrase: "cramming conversations with 10 women in a month." Behind this wording, there is something that should alarm you if you're an honest man. There is a form of contempt — unconscious perhaps, but very real — towards these women. As if one had to lower oneself to their level to give them the time of day. As if your time were infinitely more precious than theirs.

I believe the exact opposite.

When I designed this formula — a one-month subscription at $350 CAD for 10 contacts with women who are genuinely interested in building a serious relationship — I was not thinking of handing you a catalogue to flip through over your Sunday morning coffee. I was thinking about something much deeper: forcing you to focus.

The time ticking away on your subscription is your greatest ally. The limit of 10 contacts is your safeguard. Because I know men — I am one myself, I've been through this — and I know that without this constraint, most of you would do exactly what you do on Western dating apps: swipe through 200 profiles in one evening, copy-paste the same generic message, and then complain that "nothing works."

With 10 contacts, you are forced to think before you choose. Forced to read profiles carefully. Forced to ask yourself: does this woman truly match what I'm looking for? And believe me, that discipline is where everything begins. I remember a client from the UK, Graham, 52, a logistics manager, who told me the same thing at the start: "10 contacts is too few." By his third contact, he had met Tatiana. They've been married for two years now. He still thanks me for imposing that discipline on him.

  "A Month to Break the Ice Is a Poor Use of My Time"

Our Canadian gentleman adds that he doesn't believe spending a month introducing himself and breaking the proverbial ice is a good allocation of time. And that's where I see the core of the problem: he is thinking in terms of return on investment. Like a portfolio manager calculating yield.

But we're not talking about a financial instrument here. We're talking about the woman who will share your bed, your table, your laughter and your tears for the next thirty or forty years of your life.

Learning the culture of your future wife — understanding why she doesn't smile at strangers, why she expects you to take the lead, why March 8th is a sacred date in her calendar, why she judges your generosity not by the size of your bank account but by the attention you pay her every single day — this is your insurance policy against divorce.

I say it constantly in my articles and in my YouTube Lives: the majority of divorces in international couples happen because of cultural ignorance. Not because of a lack of love. Because of ignorance. And how do you fight that ignorance? By communicating. By asking questions. By listening. By spending time — yes, time — with these women who see the world in ways that are radically different from yours.

Isn't it worth putting all the odds in your favour to avoid a divorce that will cost you a hundred times more — financially and emotionally — than a single month's subscription at $350 CAD?

  "Show Me the Ones Who Are Already Interested" — The Greatest Illusion

Here is the request that made me react the most. Our man would like a service that tells him: "Here are the women who have read your profile and would be interested in discussing a possible future." Instead of: "Please choose the women you'd like to speak to from the list."

This is the greatest illusion a man can have. And it is precisely this illusion that drives some men to pay staggering sums — $50,000, $80,000, sometimes $100,000 — to millionaire matchmaking agencies that promise to do the sorting for them. In pure waste.

I say this with the utmost certainty, forged by fifteen years of experience and my NLP training: absolutely no one on planet Earth can decide for you which woman will spend every day of your life by your side. You are the only person who can make that decision. Not an algorithm, not an AI, not a luxury matchmaker in Monaco.

Now, I'm not saying you can't get help. I got help myself! That's the entire point of the work we do at CQMI with Boryslava and our field team in Ukraine. But to be capable of accepting help, you need tremendous humility. And frankly, I don't see that humility in this man's profile. What I see is a man who wants to filter. Not filter based on the human qualities of these women, their depth, their real compatibility. No. Filter based on looks. Filter with the reptilian brain. Receive a curated selection of beautiful pre-approved women, the way you order sushi on an app.

But the women registered with CQMI are not products on a shelf. These are women who have endured hardships most of us cannot even imagine. Women who have the courage to register with an international agency, to submit to our verification process — passport checks, marital status confirmation, psychological interviews with Boryslava — and to open themselves up to the gaze of foreign men in the hope of finding a decent, loyal partner.

  "My Problem Has Never Been Finding Women" — The Lie You Tell Yourself

This man's final statement is perhaps the most revealing. He claims his challenge has never been finding women to talk to, but rather creating the proper filtering system to ensure "excellent alignment."

This is completely false. And I'll discuss it in detail during my upcoming Live 241.

This is a lie you tell yourself to protect your ego. When a Western man — whether Canadian, American, British or Australian — chooses to pursue a Ukrainian or Russian woman, it is because he cannot find a suitable wife in his own country. Full stop. It's simple, it's clear, and it is beyond debate.

When I went to find my wife Boryslava in Ukraine, it was because I could not find a woman who suited me in Canada. I don't hide from it. I don't apologize for it. And if you're here, reading this article, the same is probably true for you. And there is absolutely no shame in that.

Let me tell you a story that perfectly illustrates this phenomenon. A well-known businessman from Quebec — a prominent figure in the agri-food industry — had decided to join one of our group trips to Kyiv. He had begun corresponding with Ukrainian women, all stunningly beautiful. This man, who had never received so much female attention in his entire life, gained extraordinary confidence. And guess what happened? The woman back home in Quebec, who had been stringing him along for months, happily spending his money while refusing to give him anything in return, suddenly got scared. She saw that her "catch" was receiving attention from women far more beautiful than her. She understood she was about to lose. So she pulled out all the stops — and he cancelled his trip.

Why? Because men are pragmatic. A man won't fly thousands of miles to find something he believes he already has at home. Except that woman hadn't changed. She had simply panicked. Six months later, this man called me back, defeated. The relationship had collapsed. Of course it had.

  Humility: The Quality Nobody Wants to Hear About

This type of man does not have the right approach. And I say this without malice, with all the goodwill of a coach who has seen hundreds of similar profiles over the years. You cannot succeed with a Ukrainian woman without a healthy dose of humility. Without respecting the time spent communicating with these women. Without being willing to learn their culture, their codes, their values.

You also need to understand that this process takes time. And it can be painful. It took me ten years of trial and error, disappointment and self-questioning before I met Boryslava. Ten years. Not ten days, not ten weeks. Ten years. And today, when I look at her, when I see our life together, when I measure the distance from my divorce to where I am now — I don't regret a single second of that long apprenticeship.

Because it was precisely that journey that prepared me to become the husband she needed. Not the perfect man — no such thing exists. But a man who was ready. A man who had understood that Slavic culture is not an obstacle to navigate around, but a world to discover. That cultural mistakes are inevitable, but they are also the best lessons you'll ever learn.

And that is exactly what our subscription offers you: not a catalogue of pretty women to browse over espresso, but a gateway to a new world. The time you spend communicating with these women will enrich you. You will learn the secrets of a culture that is radically different from your own. You will understand why a Ukrainian woman expects her man to be reliable before being wealthy. Why she tests your patience before opening her heart. Why a single thoughtful, personal, sincere message is worth a thousand roses ordered on the internet.

So yes, our $350 CAD per month subscription may not be glamorous. It won't make anyone's head spin on Instagram. But it works. It works because it is rooted in reality — not in fantasy. And the men who have understood this, those who played the game with humility and patience, are now married, happy, and grateful.

If you have questions about our approach, if you want to understand how our process works in practice, or if you simply need reassurance before taking the leap, write to me directly at antoine@cqmi.ca. I personally respond to every message.

I wish you a great weekend and good health!

Antoine Monnier
Founder of the CQMI Agency
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