10 min read

This week, I received a phone call that deeply moved me — and that inspired me to share with you a story I've kept in mind for several years. A story that perfectly illustrates the emotional traps some men can fall into when they set out to find their soulmate with a Ukrainian or Russian woman.

This is the story of John — we'll call him that to protect his privacy — an American man of Indian origin, 37 years old today, a personal development coach by profession. A man who, paradoxically, teaches others how to manage their emotions and relationships, but who finds himself trapped in a memory for seven long years.

The Encounter That Changed Everything

It all began about five years ago, during the Covid period. John discovered our American website cqmius.com and immediately fell under the spell of a young Ukrainian member — let's call her Ekaterina. She was 25 at the time, a dazzling beauty who caught his eye the moment he saw her profile picture.

What struck me about this young man at the time was his professional background. He does coaching in human relations, travels across the United States giving conferences on personal development. A man who, on paper, should be equipped to understand the mechanisms of attachment and detachment.

But here's the thing — and this is a conversation we're very familiar with at CQMI agency — John couldn't adapt to American dating relationships and the prevailing feminism. His Indian culture, deeply rooted, is based on a traditional vision of the couple with differentiated roles for men and women. A vision that many Ukrainian women registered with our agency actually share.

The Invitation That Seemed Promising

Ekaterina agreed to communicate with John. The connection was immediate, the exchanges intense. Fairly quickly, he made a bold decision: he invited her to the United States so they could get to know each other better.

She came to spend just over a month with him. An experience that, at first, seemed magical. They traveled together across the United States, sleeping in motels and Bed & Breakfasts, discovering the country side by side. For John, it was confirmation that this woman was "the" woman of his life.

But here's the catch — and this is a crucial lesson for all men who wish to meet a serious Ukrainian woman: these women are not looking for a romantic adventure on the road, they are looking for stability, a home, a concrete life project.

The Harsh Awakening

Young Ekaterina didn't really appreciate the idea of traveling constantly. She began to complain about these unstable living conditions — a perfectly legitimate reaction for a woman looking to build something lasting.

And then, she learned something that changed everything: John lives with his parents in his city of residence.

For a Ukrainian woman who has left her country, her family, her bearings, hoping to build a new life with a stable man... this revelation was a blow. She eventually decided that this option was not for her. She looked for a way out and re-registered on the CQMI agency website.

For John, the separation was difficult. He had become terribly attached to his young Ukrainian woman. He later told me that they separated "over a stupid, pointless conflict that could have been avoided." But in his mind, it didn't matter — he thought he could fix things later.

Seven Years of Misfortune

Years passed. Ekaterina showed no signs of regret. She started a new relationship that would take her this time to Canada, with one of our English-speaking clients from Western Canada. For her, that rough patch on American roads was nothing more than an unfortunate memory, a lesson learned.

John, on the other hand, seemed unable to forget his "Ukrainian princess with enchanting beauty."

One day, he called me. I immediately sensed from the tone of his voice that he was not doing well at all. The purpose of his call? For my wife Boryslava — my Ukrainian wife — to intervene with Ekaterina and beg her to come back to him.

"Antoine, this young woman is simply perfection on earth. I see no point in looking for someone else — she would inevitably be inferior to Ekaterina. I'm ready to pay whatever it takes, to travel to the other end of the earth. I want to find her, get down on my knees, and propose marriage."

Those words, I still remember them. Spoken with the utmost seriousness by a man who supposedly teaches personal development to others.

Male Psychology Facing Breakup

This psychological state is characteristic of men — much more so than women. It's a phenomenon I regularly observe in my work at the CQMI agency.

Women tend to suffer intensely at the moment of separation, then grieve the relationship and start fresh. It's painful at the time, but healthy in the long run.

Men, on the other hand, often remain in denial. They convince themselves that the relationship isn't really over, holding onto hope that she'll come back someday. A man's suffering arrives with a significant delay — sometimes more than five years after the breakup — when he finally realizes she's not coming back.

This is exactly what is happening to John. This week, he called me again. Seven years after their separation. He still wants to try to contact her, to know where she is, who she's with, what she's doing...

The poor man has been in emotional anguish for nearly seven long years — seven years of misfortune, one might say — and during all this time, he has forbidden himself from pursuing any new relationship. This is a psychological block that can cause devastating emotional damage.

What This Story Teaches Us

If I'm sharing John's story with you today, it's not to judge him. It's to warn you against the traps of excessive attachment and idealization.

Here are the mistakes John made — and that you must avoid:

Not offering stability: Inviting a Ukrainian woman for a romantic road trip without showing her a real, stable life project is a fundamental mistake. These women are looking for a home, not an adventure.

Hiding important information: Living with your parents past 30 isn't necessarily a deal-breaker, but hiding it creates a breach of trust. Transparency is essential with a Ukrainian woman.

Idealizing rather than accepting: Turning a woman into "perfection on earth" prevents you from seeing the relationship as it really was — with its flaws and incompatibilities.

Refusing to grieve: Seven years waiting for a woman to come back is seven years of life wasted. Time passes, and so do opportunities.

Love Is Not Harmless

When you decide to set out in search of your soulmate — whether with a Ukrainian woman, a Russian woman, or any other woman — you need to be standing firmly on both feet and in a good headspace.

Love can wreak havoc when you're not emotionally prepared. And paradoxically, sometimes it's the people who seem most equipped — like a personal development coach — who fall the hardest.

My advice, the one I give to all men who come through our agency:

When it's over, it's over. Don't remain a prisoner of a memory. Grieve properly, learn from your mistakes, and move forward. There are hundreds of wonderful Ukrainian and Russian women looking for a serious man to build a life together.

Taking Action — The Right Way

If you are a serious man from Canada, the USA, or elsewhere, genuinely committed to meeting a Ukrainian or Russian woman for a marriage project, our agency can guide you.

Our formula at $250 USD for 1 month allows you to receive 10 contacts of women genuinely interested in building a lasting relationship. No fake profiles, no PPL sites where you pay per letter — we know these scams and we steer clear of them.

Discover our dating process: https://www.cqmi.ca/en/dating-agency-procedure

Questions about your personal situation? Don't hesitate to contact me directly: antoine@cqmi.ca

And don't forget to take our compatibility test to find out if a relationship with a Slavic woman is right for you.

Wishing you an excellent weekend.

Antoine Monnier
Founder and Director of CQMI Agency
Married to Boryslava, a Ukrainian