Let me share something with you. For almost 15 years, I've been coaching men to help them marry a Slavic, Russian, or Ukrainian woman, and I'll admit without the slightest shame that this is probably the part of my job I like the least.

Let's be direct — you know me, I'm not one to sugarcoat things.

NLP: My Personal Revolution

First, my NLP coaching certification, which I obtained between 2011 and 2014, was a true revolution in my personal life. Not only did it allow me to solve problems I had been working on in psychology without the slightest success for a decade, but NLP also revolutionized my understanding of human relationships.

In just a few months, I made giant leaps that gave me almost all the keys to the secrets of romantic seduction. Yes, of course — but all of this was possible thanks to practice: lots of practice, weeks without a single break, evenings in bars or nightclubs.

I often talk about this in my Lives: NLP changed — no, revolutionized — my life in every area. A bit like my discovery of AI right now.

Watch my Live where I talk about NLP and the 5 Love Languages (in French)

The Road to Boryslava: 20 Years of Perseverance

To get where I am today, I struggled. I fell flat on my face hundreds of times, and each time I got back up with the goal of one day meeting my wife Boryslava.

In total, we're talking about a period that starts with my divorce from my French ex-wife in 2004 until today. More than 20 years of practice — in the end, that counts.

The Problem with My Clients

When a client knocks on CQMI's door, this man doesn't have 20 years of intensive practice. He finds himself completely exposed, exactly like me after my divorce in 2004. Often depressed, demoralized, disillusioned by Western women. He only has a small hope that CQMI's videos have instilled in him.

My biggest mistake? Wanting to move too fast with my clients. I see things they don't see — but that's perfectly normal.

It was actually ChatGPT that explained it to me :

"Antoine, you want to move too fast and you get upset. You can't expect this client to understand in 2 weeks what it took you more than 20 years to understand. And above all, remember something very important…"

Men Learn Through Pain

My lessons come directly from my failures. The more painful the fall, the more significant the lessons have been.

"It's Not My Fault": Two Real Examples

Example 1: Blaming the Weather

A client tells me he regrets signing up in January because he finds the cold weather and power outages don't allow him to communicate with women satisfactorily.

This conclusion comes when he realizes that his preferred woman isn't interested in him. In other words: "If I didn't succeed, it's the weather's fault."

This type of reaction makes me angry. The anger builds because I don't want clients to run from their responsibilities. This attitude doesn't allow my client to grow because he's invoking external reasons for his failure when I know that cold weather has absolutely nothing to do with the woman's decision.

Example 2: The Son in the Netherlands

Another client is in love with a Ukrainian woman living in the Netherlands. He regularly drives to see her and spend time with her. Problem: the woman doesn't (yet) see herself as a couple with him.

Time passes and the man looks for reasons. The one he finds: "She doesn't want to leave Holland because her son lives there."

Yet the woman is active on our site and we don't have any Dutch clients… It's much easier to blame something you can't control to get rid of the responsibility for your failure — to avoid the pain.

Because that's what I've done my whole life. If I fail, I'm 100% responsible. So I suffer and I reflect: I need to change something. And I fall again, over and over, until I finally succeed.

This is how I found my wife Boryslava and how my love life became what I wanted it to be.

What These Women Really Want

Before going further, I must remind you of a fundamental truth: Ukrainian and Russian women are not looking for a one-night stand. They're looking for marriage, a lifelong union, stability.

If you're not serious about your approach, stepping aside would be the best decision — for you and for them.

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My Conclusion: Supporting Without Preventing

My role isn't necessarily to advise but to support clients without contradicting them. They all have the right to fail and I don't have the right to prevent them from falling.

I need to learn to calm the flame inside me — the one that wants to explain that what they're doing won't produce the right result. But I can't. And that's why I don't like coaching.

Do you understand me?

Questions? Feel free to contact me directly: antoine@cqmi.ca

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